Empowering parents to support their children, developing resilience, confidence and self-esteem for the whole family.
My name is Libby and I am the Creator of The Emoji Coach and I have been working with parents and children around their emotions for over 10 years.
Below are some top tips on how to help your children around their emotions confidence and self- esteem.
Watch your language!
This is a simple quick tip for you to use and yet it is very effective.
Now when I say this, I am talking about how you phrase your words with yourself and your children.
Hiding emotional pain can start when we are children and can be a learn’t behaviour. Children may find it hard to talk about their feelings and may not know how to express themselves without exploding and then getting into trouble.
For parents, it is hard to see your child struggling, and so you may try and make them feel better by distracting them or offering them a lovely biscuit or even saying, “Oh don’t be silly, It’s nothing, You’ll be fine’. It Is so important to encourage children, young people anyone to talk about their emotions and express themselves.
A great way to help your child with their emotions is to help them change their wording.
Change I am to I feel
The majority of people when expressing how they feel will say I am angry, or I am sad.
This is where I would say watch both yours and your child’s language.
If your child is telling you how they feel and say “I am angry or sad or worried……When talking to your child, reflect back to them what they’re saying but add the word feel or feeling…… “So you feel Angry”, “so you feel frustrated”
I can see you’re feeling angry or “Yes, I can see how upset you are feeling”
The reason for doing this is it is so much easier to change how you feel when it is a feeling. If you say I am angry, it becomes your identity, where if you say I feel, it is a feeling and can move on a lot faster.
It’s okay to feel a negative feeling as long as we realise that it is just a feeling and we have a choice to change how we feel.
Separate their behaviour from them
It is so easy to say, you are a naughty boy/girl etc.
So by saying I love you very much, I don’t like your behaviour you are still getting your point across without knocking their self-esteem or instilling that belief in them because if they believe they are naughty, guess what? Yes, they will behave like naughty children and may feel the odd one out in a group of children and it can spiral downwards from there.
Talk about how you feel
If you’re not feeling great, then talk about how you feel and you can use that as an example of what you did to change that to a positive feeling.
Tell your kids that your feeling like you’re having a bad day, and that’s okay for mummy and daddy to feel like this and isn’t their problem to fix as you will feel good again.
You’re communicating this with them so they won’t feel like they have done something wrong when you’re snappy because let’s face it, we can all be snappy with our kids when we don’t feel 100%.
Below are ways to communicate with your child to help with their confidence and self-esteem:
I am proud of you
I learn so much from you
I’d love to hear more about that
I value your opinion
That’s a good way of doing ………………
Well done for having a go
For more ways to communicate with your child to help grow their confidence and self-esteem go to www.theemojicoach.com and click on the resource centre where you will find lots of different resources to help you and your child.
Libby empowers parents to support their children, developing resilience, confidence and self-esteem for the whole family.
Libby is passionate about helping parents to empower their children to be their true selves, lighting up their paths helping them to see and believe in who they really are so they can reach their true potential and happiness. Helping parents to see how amazing they are helping them to parent from their hearts.
You can contact Libby, and she will arrange for you to have a complimentary chat so you can both find out more information.